Wednesday, March 2, 2016

After Donald Trump Saves Us All From Headless Space Alien Zombies Riding Unicorns...Then What?

Through Executive Orders President Trump Decrees:

1)  All public schools shut down since they were merely communist re-education camps

2)  The Department of Education shut down

3)  Language correction education
      Migrant =>  Foreign Criminal
      Undocumented Alien =>  Foreign Criminal
      Illegal Alien =>  Foreign Criminal


4)  The EPA shut down

5)  Sharia law banned

6)  Speaking Spanish banned

7)  Speaking Arabic banned

8)  All regulations removed from oil drilling

9)  All regulations removed from coal mining

10)  Keystone pipeline built

11)  Terror free oil offered to the world

12)  Terror free coal offered to the world.

13)  All UN members who practice any of the following will be banned from the UN:

A)    Female genital mutilation
B)    Punishing rape victims
C)    Honor killing
D)    Strapping bombs to children
E)    Sexually enslaving women
F)      Punishing homosexuals
G)    Murdering homosexuals
H)    Child marriage, Child Brides, and Forced Marriage
I)    Domestic Violence
J)    Disciplining or Punishing Wives
K)     Beating Wives
L)     Violence Against Women
M)     Sharia law
N)     Women being beaten or raped for wearing "inappropriate clothing"
O)     Women being beaten or raped for leaving the house without a male relative as a chaperon
Q)     Women and men beating beaten and sometimes killed for expressing inappropriate  thoughts in a blog.
R)     Women and men being beaten and sometimes killed for being accused of disrespecting the religion of peace and tolerance.

14)  What do you mean president Trump can't ban people he does not like from the UN?  Well he will at lest ban them from the US

15)  Trump will charge a tax on every foreign criminal he deports and use it to build the The Wall.
16)  Trump will charge a tax on every company and corporation caught hiring slave labor and use to build the wall

17)  Trump will end all immigration for one year.  There will be no visas of any kind.

18)  Trump forcibly enlist all chronically unemployed young men into mandatory military service and have the military teach them to do IT.
19)  Since many of these chronically unemployed men will be African American Trump will commit the faux paux of saying he will "blacken the face of IT."
20)  Trump will give every unemployed black man an A+.  Which is to say, they will be trained on how to repair computers as part of their military service.  Trump will also mandate that each and every chronically unemployed black man who serves in this way will be taught Oracle administration and programming.

21)  Remove Fool's Gold from the language and replace it with Trump's Gold

22)  Put the US economy back on the gold standard

23)  Make it mandatory for all public school teachers to have guns.  Didn't he ban public schools a few speeches ago.  As all Trumpeters know, what he said 5 minutes ago is no longer operative if that's what he wishes.

24)  Guns are mandatory for all airline pilots

25)  All professions have to pledge allegiance to Donald Trump every day.

26) The presidential salary becomes $1billion per year by presidential decree

27)  All city, county, and state police are nationalized.






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After Donald Trump Saves Us All From Headless Space Alien Zombies Riding Unicorns...Then What?

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