President Donald J. Trump may invoke Executive Orders (Thanks Obama!) that will do the following:
1) Make the pig the National Animal
2) Declare that the United States is now a Pork Protectorate in the People's Republic of Bacon
3) Declare that Beer is our National Drink
4) Declare that the Bikini is our National Clothing. Even men must wear them
5) Declare Beer, Bacon and Bikinis Uber Alles!!!
6) Declare That our National Religion is now the Voluptuous Hypothesis wherein all must pray every day that misogynist male terrorists such ISIS will all be transformed by God into buxom, beautiful virgin, blonde haired, blue eyed, 19 year young, horny females with no knowledge of and no interest in politics, history or religion.
7) The highest praise for the Voluptuous Hypothesis shall be that the bribed, treasonous commies morons call it both RACIST and SEXIST. If they do not call it both then we must pray harder and more frequently to make it so!
8) All American children shall be issued unicorns and sweet sticky rainbows.
9) Trump will tax sunshine and oxygen and the rich will pay more!
10) Trump will end droughts all over the world. Trump will say something nonsensical like: It is better to be thought a tool then to open your mouth an remove all drought. It will make no sense but die hard Trmpkins will love it.
Trump will create a salt water pipeline from the Pacific ocean to the Salton Sea. He will use solar energy to desalinate the water and provide fresh water to Southern California. Trump will offer to sell water to Mexico--after they build the wall. Trump will license American desalinaters to provide the world with fresh water.
11) Trump will declare meat illegal. Then he will replace meat with texturized bug protein. Then he will sell bug guts and fresh to a hungry, thirsty world and his control of those two basics will enable him to become dictator of the planet.
12) Trump vows to exterminate all mosquitoes with extreme prejudice. He orders the NIH and the CDC to come up with a virus that will destroy the reproductive organs of every mosquito on earth.
Might As Well Trump!