Saturday, March 12, 2016

St Patrick's Day is for Rainbows and Beer

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Thursday, March 3, 2016

Trumpsters, Trumpkins, Trumpinists, Trumpeters, and Trumpets

The president findings and executive orders of one Commander in Chief:  Donald J. Trump


1)  Donald J. Trump will declare war illegal and he will mandate that hence forth nations must compete on which one can cure the most diseases.  Not treat the most diseases as though mankind were merely a vehicle for transporting bacteria and viruses from place to place on the planet.  But rather eradicating diseases.  Making illnesses disappear from the face of the earth.

2) Trump declares that citizens of the United States are henceforth people of the dragon moon.

3)  Trump declares pigs to be good luck.

4)  Trump orders all bullets, bombs, ordinance and weapons of all kinds to be dipped in and smeared with pig grease, pig blood, pig urine, pig feces and pig saliva.  More over Trump orders all cemeteries,  streets, buildings, hard and paper currency to be dipped in and smeared with pig grease, pig blood, pig urine, pig feces, and pig saliva.  Also, all ports of entry into the United states must be dug up and pictures of voluptuous naked women must be buried there.  And then the the ground must be consecrated with beer, pig blood, pig urine, pig saliva, and pig feces.

5) Trump orders everyone who says we need to help refugees more be stripped of citizenship and deported to Syria.

6)  Trump says after ten thousand Christian churches are built in Saudi Arabia and after the Saudis welcome 10 million fake refugees then we will talk about helping predominately economic refugees abandon their mothers, wives, children and siblings in order to runaway from ISIS.


7)  Trump nationalizes the police.

8)  All who performed certain banned acts are barred from entering the United States.  Those acts are:

A)    Female genital mutilation
B)    Punishing rape victims
C)    Honor killing
D)    Strapping bombs to children
E)    Sexually enslaving women
F)      Punishing homosexuals
G)    Murdering homosexuals
H)    Child marriage, Child Brides, and Forced Marriage
I)    Domestic Violence
J)    Disciplining or Punishing Wives
K)     Beating Wives
L)     Violence Against Women
M)     Sharia law
N)     Women being beaten or raped for wearing "inappropriate clothing"
O)     Women being beaten or raped for leaving the house without a male relative as a chaperon
P)     Women and men beating beaten and sometimes killed for expressing inappropriate  thoughts in a blog.
Q)     Women and men being beaten and sometimes killed for being accused of disrespecting the religion of peace and tolerance.

R)Also, the belief that flogging, stoning, beheading are appropriate punishments for adultery, apostasy, witchcraft and blasphemy.





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Trumpsters, Trumpkins, Trumpinists, Trumpeters, and Trumpets


Might As Well Trump!

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President Donald J. Trump may invoke Executive Orders (Thanks Obama!) that will do the following:

1)  Make the pig the National Animal

2)  Declare that the United States is now a Pork Protectorate in the People's Republic of Bacon

3)  Declare that Beer is our National Drink

4)  Declare that the Bikini is our National Clothing.  Even men must wear them

5)   Declare Beer, Bacon and Bikinis Uber Alles!!!

6)  Declare That our National Religion is now the Voluptuous Hypothesis wherein all must pray every day that misogynist male terrorists such ISIS will all be transformed by God into buxom, beautiful virgin, blonde haired, blue eyed, 19 year young,  horny females  with no knowledge of and no interest in politics, history or religion.

7)  The highest praise for the Voluptuous Hypothesis shall be that the bribed, treasonous commies morons call it both RACIST and SEXIST.  If they do not call it both then we must pray harder and more frequently to make it so!

8)  All American children shall be issued unicorns and sweet sticky rainbows.

9)  Trump will tax sunshine and oxygen and the rich will pay more!

10)  Trump will end droughts all over the world.  Trump will say something nonsensical like:  It is better to be thought a tool then to open your mouth an remove all drought.    It will make no sense but die hard Trmpkins will love it.

Trump will create a salt water pipeline from the Pacific ocean to the Salton Sea.  He will use solar energy to desalinate the water and provide fresh water to Southern California.  Trump will offer to sell water to Mexico--after they build the wall.  Trump will license American desalinaters to provide the world with fresh water.

11)  Trump will declare meat illegal.  Then he will replace meat with texturized bug protein.  Then he will sell bug guts  and fresh to a hungry, thirsty world and his control of those two basics will enable him to become dictator of the planet.

12)  Trump vows to exterminate all mosquitoes with extreme prejudice.  He orders the NIH and the CDC to come up with a virus that will destroy the reproductive organs of every mosquito on earth.







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Might As Well Trump!

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

After Donald Trump Saves Us All From Headless Space Alien Zombies Riding Unicorns...Then What?

Through Executive Orders President Trump Decrees:

1)  All public schools shut down since they were merely communist re-education camps

2)  The Department of Education shut down

3)  Language correction education
      Migrant =>  Foreign Criminal
      Undocumented Alien =>  Foreign Criminal
      Illegal Alien =>  Foreign Criminal


4)  The EPA shut down

5)  Sharia law banned

6)  Speaking Spanish banned

7)  Speaking Arabic banned

8)  All regulations removed from oil drilling

9)  All regulations removed from coal mining

10)  Keystone pipeline built

11)  Terror free oil offered to the world

12)  Terror free coal offered to the world.

13)  All UN members who practice any of the following will be banned from the UN:

A)    Female genital mutilation
B)    Punishing rape victims
C)    Honor killing
D)    Strapping bombs to children
E)    Sexually enslaving women
F)      Punishing homosexuals
G)    Murdering homosexuals
H)    Child marriage, Child Brides, and Forced Marriage
I)    Domestic Violence
J)    Disciplining or Punishing Wives
K)     Beating Wives
L)     Violence Against Women
M)     Sharia law
N)     Women being beaten or raped for wearing "inappropriate clothing"
O)     Women being beaten or raped for leaving the house without a male relative as a chaperon
Q)     Women and men beating beaten and sometimes killed for expressing inappropriate  thoughts in a blog.
R)     Women and men being beaten and sometimes killed for being accused of disrespecting the religion of peace and tolerance.

14)  What do you mean president Trump can't ban people he does not like from the UN?  Well he will at lest ban them from the US

15)  Trump will charge a tax on every foreign criminal he deports and use it to build the The Wall.
16)  Trump will charge a tax on every company and corporation caught hiring slave labor and use to build the wall

17)  Trump will end all immigration for one year.  There will be no visas of any kind.

18)  Trump forcibly enlist all chronically unemployed young men into mandatory military service and have the military teach them to do IT.
19)  Since many of these chronically unemployed men will be African American Trump will commit the faux paux of saying he will "blacken the face of IT."
20)  Trump will give every unemployed black man an A+.  Which is to say, they will be trained on how to repair computers as part of their military service.  Trump will also mandate that each and every chronically unemployed black man who serves in this way will be taught Oracle administration and programming.

21)  Remove Fool's Gold from the language and replace it with Trump's Gold

22)  Put the US economy back on the gold standard

23)  Make it mandatory for all public school teachers to have guns.  Didn't he ban public schools a few speeches ago.  As all Trumpeters know, what he said 5 minutes ago is no longer operative if that's what he wishes.

24)  Guns are mandatory for all airline pilots

25)  All professions have to pledge allegiance to Donald Trump every day.

26) The presidential salary becomes $1billion per year by presidential decree

27)  All city, county, and state police are nationalized.






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bBizarre Bizarre Headless Zombie Space Alien Tshirt
bBizarre Bizarre Headless Zombie Space Alien Tshirt













After Donald Trump Saves Us All From Headless Space Alien Zombies Riding Unicorns...Then What?