Wednesday, April 27, 2016

What Great Conspiracies Could A President Donald J. Trump Uncover

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1)  Ted Cruz is a zombie mutant space alien.
2)  John Kasich is a mutant zombie space alien.
3)  Marco Rubio is a space alien zombie mutant.
4)  Hillary Clinton is a mutant space alien zombie.
5)  Barack Hussein Obama is a foreign born, Militant Manchurian Marxist Muslim zombie mutant space alien.
6) There are no more space aliens in Area 51 because previous presidents ate them.
7)  It turns out that the space aliens were headless zombie mutant unicorns with rainbow blood that conferred immortality.  Each previous president retired to a secret island to live out eternity in private and sent a mortal clone to die in public where he could be seen.
8) The United States secretly thwarted an army of North Korean naked female zombie clones riding genetically engineered  unicorns who tried to invade South Korea and start an orgy.
9)  When the real Obama gained immortality and went to the isle of the immortals the Obama clone replaced  his wife with a robot because he was a cybersexual.
10) Trump will investigate why the United States has not changed its name to the People's Republic of Bacon and made Bacon the National Food.
11)  Donald Trump will declare that the Pig is the new national animal as an enduring symbol of freedom and intelligence and as the bringer of Bacon.
12)  Donald Trump will launch an investigation into why congress is not composed entirely of bikini clad beauty queen contest winners.   After all, they would be tons better looking and they would all want world peace.
13)  Trump would also investigate why the supreme court is not composed entirely of beauty queens (See the previous item...)
14) Donald Trump would look into why any town would name itself "Looneyville".
15) Donald Trump would seek to make a presidential finding on whether zombies are edible.
16)  Who names a town "Toad Suck"?
17)  Why are Iran and Saudi Arabia are not held to same standard as United States and Europe?
18)  Trump discovers the real War on Women:

A)    Female genital mutilation
B)    Punishing rape victims
C)    Honor killing
D)    Child Brides
E)    Sexually enslaving women
F)      Punishing homosexuals
G)    Murdering homosexuals
H)    Child marriage
I)    Domestic Violence
J)    Disciplining or Punishing Wives
K)     Beating Wives
L)     Violence Against Women
M)     Forced Marriage
N)     Women being beaten or raped for wearing "inappropriate clothing"
O)     Women being beaten or raped for leaving the house without a male relative as a chaperon
P)     Women and men beating beaten and sometimes killed for expressing inappropriate  thoughts in a blog.
Q)     Women and men being beaten and sometimes killed for being accused of disrespecting the religion of peace and tolerance.
R)Also, the belief that flogging, stoning, beheading and imprisonment are appropriate punishments for adultery, apostasy, witchcraft and blasphemy.

19)  Trump's investigations uncovers the truth that liberals and progressives are waging the War on Women by
  • Insisting that pedophiles who "identify as women" follow little girls into the bathroom
  • Importing rape refugees from Syria after watching them rape their way across Europe
  • Hiding rapists among foreign criminals in Sanctuary cities
20)  Trump will investigate the repeal of the Law of Supply and demand.  After all, both liberals and super rich businessmen claim that you can import as many foreign criminals (aka illegal aliens) as you want, offer them no benefits and pay them slave wages and that this will not have the effect of lower benefits and wages for legal American workers as well as drying up the job market for legal Americans.

21)  Trump will investigate what bribe all western "leaders" and the pope have taken to enable them to lie about the "religion of peace and tolerance".  There is one major source of war and terrorism in the world and it ain't Christian nuns.
22)  Trump will investigate why the fake Syrian refugees are not resettled in Iran and Saudi Arabia--two countries which share religion, language and culture with the fake refugees.  Instead there is a perverse effort to force upon people who love beer, bacon and bikinis people who are completely intolerant of beer, bacon and bikinis.
23) Trump will investigate how, why and what kinds of bribes and coercion caused the pope and all western "leaders" to agree to destroy capitalism and Christianity through the invasion of  foreign criminals (aka illegal aliens) as well as the alien, incompatible culture of fake Syrian "Refugees".

24)  Trump will say:  Let's prove Islam is the religion of peace, love and tolerance. Lets:

A)  Build churches in Saudi Arabia
B)  Send all our gays and transgendered to Saudi Arabia and Iran as good will ambassadors.
C)  Send all our politically enlightened college students to Saudi and Iran to teach micro-aggressions to their clerics.
D)  Send all Syrian refugees to Saudi Arabia and Iran where they will doubtless be tolerated peacefully and welcomed.


After all, the most perfect exemplars of devout Muslim behavior are Iran and Saudi Arabia.  If they don't know how to do Islam then no one does.

25)  Trump will attempt to prove that Alex Truther licked the structural I-beams of building until the girders rusted out and the buildings collapsed.

26)   Trump will discover the REAL religion of peace and tolerance and love.

27)  President's Trumps scientists and economists will conclusively prove that we can make trillions by selling genetically engineered unicorns to North Korea.

28)  Trump will make Martians pay for the dome.

29)  Trump will opine that any belief system which refuses to compare itself to Christianity--including atheism--is inferior.

30)  If the purpose of accepting refugees is not to destroy the culture of either the host or help recipient. Christian refugees should only go to western nations and Muslim refugees should only go to Muslim nations.

31)  Anyone, refugees, visitor, worker, or tourist who cannot  or will not fully embrace beer, bacon and bikinis should be barred entry from every western nation for any reason.

32)  We need to combine kudzu, fire ants and dryer line to make food for pigs.  Let mix in all our tree and yard waste too!

33)  If Christianity and capitalism are not the greatest engines for human prosperity and human rights in history which western nation if volunteering to remake itself over into Pakistan?  Okay, how about making your nation a clone of North Korea.

34)  If either Christianity or capitalism, let along both, are the greatest evils and encumbrances this world have ever know than explain abolition, women's suffrage or even the election of a bribed traitor community organizer who wakes up every day try to further Muslim or Mexican invasion for the purpose of destroying the United States?

35)  Anyone who waves a foreign flag needs to be deported.  You are not happy here.  We can fix that.
36)  Anyone who complains about the American flag needs to be deported.  You are not happy here.  We can fix that.
37)  Any refugee, tourist or foreign worker who complains about how their religion is treated needs to be deported.  You are not happy here.  We can fix that.

38)  I hereby give all Americans the right to tell SJWs to STFU unless and until they deal with ALL  of the following:

A)    Female genital mutilation
B)    Punishing rape victims
C)    Honor killing
D)    Child Brides
E)    Sexually enslaving women
F)      Punishing homosexuals
G)    Murdering homosexuals
H)    Child marriage
I)    Domestic Violence
J)    Disciplining or Punishing Wives
K)     Beating Wives
L)     Violence Against Women
M)     Forced Marriage
N)     Women being beaten or raped for wearing "inappropriate clothing"
O)     Women being beaten or raped for leaving the house without a male relative as a chaperon
P)     Women and men beating beaten and sometimes killed for expressing inappropriate  thoughts in a blog.
Q)     Women and men being beaten and sometimes killed for being accused of disrespecting the religion of peace and tolerance.
R)Also, the belief that flogging, stoning, beheading and imprisonment are appropriate punishments for adultery, apostasy, witchcraft and blasphemy.

39)  Some fail to grasp the truth that the left is clearly stating. Everything they say is a lie. They don't care about any fundamental principals such as freedom of speech. They never have. They will do or say anything to obtain or keep power. Nothing they say matters because they don't believe it anyway. Responding to anything anyone on the left says makes as much sense as arguing with a dog. So they will invade the country with foreign criminals (aka) illegal aliens and refugee rapists from Syria because this invasion will help them destroy capitalism and Christianity. They will say or do anything to cause that destruction. Did you ever wonder why feminists don't march in the street against the rape refugees from Syria? For feminists who have bought into Marxist revolution the destruction of Christianity which is aided by importing millions who are intolerant of Christianity is more important than the health and safety of women.

40)  We should find:
 The World's Most Intolerant Religion, The World's Most Violent Religion, The World's Worst Religion  
And then whatever it is, whether it be Zoroastrianism, Pastafarians, or some other dismal faith, it should be banned and barred from the West and all it's adherents and apologists should be expelled.

41)  No More Monuments to perversion.



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Saturday, April 23, 2016

A Worm in My Kisses

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I was far, far, far less grossed out than you might imagine when I gobbled down a a piece of chocolate and then noticed a tiny worm trying to crawl away from the empty foil packet.

I expect any day now for president Hussein or if not him,  then president Hillary--or Hair Hillary as I like to think of her--to proclaim that the American people have, for their own good, been eating texturized bug proteins every time they thought they were eating meat.  We will be told that this was done to save the earth and to improve the health of the American people.

Even republicans have found out that their party leaders don't give a damn what the average voter thinks.   Political leaders will force upon the populace either what they deem best or what they have bribed by their oil sheik masters to implement.  So that the next leader of the United States will reveal that substances have been put in the food and water without the knowledge or permission of the populace is an inevitable fact.  Nothing you can say or do will change it.  Gaze upon your political leaders and know that they don't think you are stupid.  They know you are.  You voted for them even though they said things that were demonstrably untrue.  For instance, telling you right after a terrorist incident that the religion of terrorist had nothing to do with it.  Clearly a bold, outrageous, bribed lie.  Or that there is a religion of peace and tolerance that routinely engages in honor killing, forced child marriage, as well as punishing homosexuality, adultery, apostasy, witchcraft and blasphemy

Moreover, the United Nations has already begun an ambitious campaign to make us all eat bugs for dinner.

So while I will not deliberately eats bugs, I am never surprised when I see an insect, or it's larva in my food.  My tax dollars at work.

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Sunday, April 17, 2016

National Tattoo Week

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Because you've always wanted to walk up to an attractive woman and say:  Nice tats toots!

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Tattoo Outline


Bailey flower tattoo


Levee Tattoo


Florence Tattoo Convention (5158666726)


Woman with chest tattoos, spiked collar, and fuchsia hair (2007)


D6B 1765 - Kleio Valentien (12197767333)


Cool Tattoo


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Better Drunk Than Wasted Tee Shirt
Better Drunk Than Wasted vs Digital Daylight Shirts
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Better Drunk Than Wasted

 

 

 

 

Tank T-Shirt Hold My Beer 
 
 
 
 
Texas State Slogan: Hold My Beer and Watch This Tanktop
 
 
 
 
 
Texas State Motto:  Hold My Beer:  I Got This T-shirt 
 
 
 
 

Beer, Bacon, Bikinis

 

 


National Ask An Atheist Day

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On the occasion of National Ask an Atheist Day I would like to ask Atheists what is their stand on societies which bind the actions and even public appearance of all individuals for religious reasons.  If you lived in such a society would you object to being forced to act, speak and dress in a certain way on pain of punishment.  In particular what are your views on:

1)    Female genital mutilation
2)    Punishing rape victims
3)    Honor killing
4)    Child Brides
5)    Sexually enslaving women
6)      Punishing homosexuals
7)    Murdering homosexuals
8)    Child marriage
9)    Domestic Violence
10)    Disciplining or Punishing Wives
11)     Beating Wives
12)     Violence Against Women
13)     Forced Marriage
14)     Women being beaten or raped for wearing "inappropriate clothing"
15)     Women being beaten or raped for leaving the house without a male relative as a chaperon
16)     Women and men beating beaten and sometimes killed for expressing inappropriate  thoughts in a blog.
17)     Women and men being beaten and sometimes killed for being accused of disrespecting the religion of peace and tolerance.

Also, the belief that flogging, stoning, beheading and imprisonment are appropriate punishments for adultery, apostasy, witchcraft and blasphemy.

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Friday, April 1, 2016

Donald Trump To Deport All Zombies, Mutants, Leprechauns, Unicorns and Headless Space Aliens!

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 When Donald Trump was told that it is a old Chicago tradition for the dead to rise from their graves and vote democrat and that Hillary Clinton, a democrat from Chicago might employ the Walking Dead in her campaign for American Dictator, The Donald vowed to expel all dead people from the United States.

Furthermore the Trumpster will build a magical wall to keep the Unicorns out. 

Trumpkins will build a dome to keep the headless space aliens out.

The Trumpmeister will do genetic screening to find all mutants and send then to Guantanamo to be water boarded until they reveal the secrets of their mutant powers.

All boxes of lucky charms will be moved to Fort Knox to keep them safe from Leprechauns/


 And in conclusion Trumpilicious will surround the borders of the United States with pig blood, pig urine and pig feces to keep out the riff raff and he will pile holy books like the Necronomicon behind the piles of pig guts and burn them to keep evil spirits out of the United States of America.

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