Monday, May 30, 2016

Migraine Awareness Month and National Accordion Awareness Month

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Speaking of throwing a sack full of scalded cats in the river:  It's National Accordion Awareness Month.

Perhaps not coincidentally, it's also Migraine Awareness Month.

Well the good news is, I suppose, that at some point they have to run out of other people's cats.

The bad news is that someone might start in on the dogs or whats worse:  Play the accordion.

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8 key accordion
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File:PianoAccordeon.jpg 


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 File:A convertor free-bass piano-accordion and a Russian bayan.jpg



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National Moonshine Day

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True American values are Beer, Bacon, and Bikinis!

We should not accept anyone into this great nation unless they can wholeheartedly and without reservation embrace and participate in these values.  Accept not substitutes!!!

Booze has been a part of Americana even when it was prohibited.  Hence the celebration of bootleg liquor, white lightning and moonshine. 


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Photo credit: theimpulsivebuy via Source / CC BY-SA


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Photo credit: PunkToad via Scandinavian / CC BY


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Photo credit: A Train via Foter.com / CC BY-ND


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Photo credit: Joelk75 via Source / CC BY


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Photo credit: doug_wertman via Foter.com / CC BY


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Texas State Slogan: Hold My Beer and Watch This Tanktop 
 
 
 
 
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Sunday, May 22, 2016

Victimhood Is The New American Dream

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   Once you get yourself declared an officially sanctioned victim in the United States you can do no wrong.  Seriously: Rape, racism, and murder--even the politically incorrect murdering of gays for being gay--is all permitted if you get yourself declared a victim.  Hell liberals will even sacrifice the safety of little girls in bathrooms if you just get progressives to agree that not having access to vulnerable females makes you a victim.  Liberals will force teenage girls to shower with aggressive males to "protect" pedophiles who claim to "identify as women."

But how do democrats decide who is a victim and who is not?  One vast, vast advantage that liberals, progressives, democrats and socialists have over conservatives is they are never embarrassed or reluctant to say or do anything for political expediency.  No other reason is required.  Liberals have two overriding goals.  The destruction of capitalism and the destruction of Christianity.  They do not mind bedding down with anyone at anytime as long as these two goals are advanced.

For liberals the law of supply and demand is repealed if it allows them to advance the destruction of capitalism and Christianity.    So liberals are more than happy to declare million of foreign criminals (undocumented democrats) as victims and to give them welfare, healthcare and the jobs of poor, black Americans even though the law of supply and demand says that this action must drive down wages and benefits for legal Americans.  And as in all things, liberals then claim these lower wages and benefits which they brought about by aiding and abetting illegal aliens is an "economic crime"  which requires a government solution such as increasing the minimum wage to a trillion dollars and hour.  By the way recent college grads, the law of supply and demand says if you flood the market with cheap  skilled or unskilled labor from Mexico and India, that means there will be no jobs for legal Americans who just graduated from college.  Fortunately for you democrats repealed the law of supply and demand.


Liberals are even willing to accept the actions of rape refugees in Europe and to invite them to bring their raping ways to the United States.  For progressive, fake "refugees" are welcome "victims" as long as they promise bring their intolerance and hatred for Beer, Bacon, Bikinis, capitalism and Christianity with them.   And as long as they remain unvettable and unscreened.  We wouldn't want to check for terrorist leanings--that might be hurtful.   For all of that  liberals will ignore all of this:

1)    Female genital mutilation
2)    Punishing rape victims
3)    Honor killing
4)    Child Brides
5)    Sexually enslaving women
6)      Punishing homosexuals
7)    Murdering homosexuals
8)    Child marriage
9)    Domestic Violence
10)    Disciplining or Punishing Wives
11)     Beating Wives
12)     Violence Against Women
13)     Forced Marriage
14)     Women being beaten or raped for wearing "inappropriate clothing"
15)     Women being beaten or raped for leaving the house without a male relative as a chaperon
16)     Women and men beating beaten and sometimes killed for expressing inappropriate  thoughts in a blog.
17)     Women and men being beaten and sometimes killed for being accused of disrespecting the religion of peace and tolerance.

Also, the belief that flogging, stoning, beheading and imprisonment are appropriate punishments for adultery, apostasy, witchcraft and blasphemy.

Progressives and their fellow travelers--such as the pope--have a much lower tolerance for errors committed by capitalist and Christian nations than for those that practice other religions and forms of government.   For instance, billionaire nations that share religion, language and culture with the fake "refugees" can do nothing to help with impunity but if western nations balk and being invaded and taken over by the members of the world's most intolerant religion then they are branded as racist and evil.

One of the best things about being a victim is that it requires no special talent.  You don't even have to lie particularly well.  Fake and weak ass lies will do as long as you are willing to perform acts and say things that threaten Christianity and capitalism.  In fact, being stupid and lazy are almost prerequisites for being a modern day American victim.  If you sound like an intelligent person who knows what he is talking about this marks you as a person of "privilege" and not a victim.  You must be stupid enough to vote for those who profess economically illiterate ideas, such as:  "Vote for me and get free stuff!!!",  to be a truly useful idiot and a good victim.  


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Saturday, May 21, 2016

Hold My Beer and Watch This vs Hold My Beer I Got This

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What could possibly go wrong?

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Texas State Motto:  Hold My Beer:  I Got This T-shirt 
Texas State Slogan: Hold My Beer and Watch This Tanktop 
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Stupid Guy Thing Day

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In my own defense, not everything guys do is stupid.  Consider Beer, Bacon and Bikinis!!!

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Now on with the stupid.

Most of the people who voted for Trump are guys.

The following actually applies to men and women:  If you ever complain that your spouse is the worst or dumbest or whatever in the world, you do you realize that you, super genius, chose to marry that person.  I for one certainly did not make you do it.

Some things are dumb but funny.  For instance, I believe it's mostly guys who think the following is really funny:

Amazon reviews on the banana slicer.

Amazon reviews on horse head and unicorn head masks.

The Journal of Irreproducible Results (It's a perpetual motion machine of laffs)

Bathroom Books.

Canned unicorn meat.

Canned dragon meat.

Trump toilet paper.

Golf balls with Trump's face.

Canned creamed possum.

Blow up dolls.

Hold my beer I got this.

Hold my beer and watch this

What could possibly go wrong?

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As far as I know, most  Darwin Award Winners are guys:.


The guy who attached a rocket to back of a car.

The guy who tried to iron a shirt while still wearing it.

The two guys who thought a lawn mower would make an excellent hedge trimmer.  One of them thought there might be something amiss with the idea but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

The guy who wanted to prove that all the 13th floor windows were unbreakable by running into them at top speed.  One wasn't.

The guy who wanted to prove that all his blasting caps were duds by biting into them.  One wasn't.

Or all the various and sundry drunk guys who that it was a swell idea to get all liquored up and pet every animal in the zoon that had teeth and claws.


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