Saturday, January 23, 2016

How to Test Positive for Stupidity

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Intro: I remember once opining on an article that urged folks to stop drinking diet soda.  After reading over some bizarre and foolish comments I said, in effect:  We were being given an IQ test and that anyone who tries to refute the assertion that water is the only drink we need tests positive for stupidity.

Some Nimrod said I lived in an ivory tower.

Point proven.  Dear Nimrod, we live on a planet whose surface is over 70% water.  You literally have to go out of your way and spend extra money to drink something other than water.  All over America water comes out of pipes and water fountains for free.  You don’t even have to pay for it.  In order for me to be some ivory tower type I would need to say some like “Let them drink Courvoisier.”   Dude, you are literally painfully stupid!


(PS, before some dork tries to point out that sea water is not potable let me digress and state that seawater greenhouses and saltwater greenhouses not only exist but they are powered off sun and and are a way to produce freshwater from saltwater.  So why aren't water starved countries cities, states and countries using it?  Corruption, greed, bribery, incompetence, obstructionist Green Weenies and my personal favorite:  Stupidity.)


Step 1: Now that I am off my rant, I will grant that the individual might not be stupid.  He could be just ignorant.  If after considering the facts as I have presented them, and doing some Internet and dictionary research as to how prevalent and cheap drinkable water is (not talking bottled water, or carbonated water or vitamin water, or flavored water here),  if dude still doesn’t get it we are forced to conclude a chemical or organic deficiency may be in full effect.  Yeah, folks it’s Defcon Dummy, the Stupid is strong with this one.


Step 2: Don’t worry I won’t be as mean with the next one but if you are old enough to read this and understand it you are old enough to either by your own life experience or by the vicarious experience of all that reality TV you have been watching to conclude the following:  Exercise may be good for you but unless you are an Olympic athlete training for 16 hours a day, exercise is not going to help you lose weight.   It’s simple physics, math, chemistry, arithmetic or whatever.  You are what you eat.  If you ate nothing you would weigh nothing.  You’d be dead but surely that is beside the point.  The corollary follows as day follows night, if you wish to limit your weight you must limit your diet.  End of discussion.  Again, I will be much nicer on this one than I was on the water issue.   Go look up stuff like calories, and energy and weight and get it all put together in your mind.  Once you do, you will see that in our little corner of the universe, in order to lose weight, you have to eat less.  Unless you are an Olympic athlete, there are at the fundamental level, no other issues to consider on that score.  Does this mean that all the special books with special diets written by special people are so much horse pucky?  Why yes.  Yes it does.   As far as losing weight is concerned you don’t need a special diet.  You need to change your life so that you eat less every day.


Step 3: Now, diseases and deficiencies exist.  Go talk to you doctor if you have one of those because you are one of the few who actually does need a diet.   For everyone else:  See veggie eat veggie.  See water drink water.  Diet done.  See refined sugar, walk away.  Sorry but there is no recommended daily allowance for refined sugar.  Since it’s not good for you and you don’t need it for nutrition…


Step 4: For most people your doctor or dietitian will recommended some sort of balanced diet that contains stuff other than water and vegetables and that of course is very cool.  But if whole continents full of billions of people manage to survive and thrive and have babies and God forbid, fight wars, by consuming little more than water and veggies, you know you and I could do so as well.  We just chose not to and we have to own that.  Sure that cow needs eating but we don’t actually need to eat it.  But we will anyway.


Step5: There are millions of more folks who survive mostly on veggies, water, and fish and wine so that could be done as well.


Step 6: I suppose we can stop testing positive for stupidity as a nation when we stop feeding the kids refined sugar and corn fructose at any time for any reason.  Even if they are crying in the grocery store or at the shopping mall.

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