So we have holiday that are dedicated to getting drunk, fat and stupid and then their is that painful process of spatchcocking a turkey. That's gotta hurt. Unless you are a vegan. Then you can spatchcock the tofu. Tofu has already been neutered so it won't even miss it.
Why did we spatchcock the bird? I tells ya, that turkey had it coming.
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Come to think of it, someone should spatchcock ISIS. They won't even be able to rape a goat after that. And they certainly won't be molesting any more minors.
And to paraphrase the man who almost became the nation's first First Husband: I did not spatchcock that turkey. Not once. Not even one time. And it doesn't even matter what is is.
Mind you that question can be asked of any unfamiliar bush meat. Do you spatchcock that lizard and roast him whole? Bats, armadillo, possums, assorted roadkill. I would imagine they could all use a good spatchcocking before grilling.
"Spatchcocked Lemon Poussins" : Say what?
Don't tell Trump, he'll try to grab it.
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